I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
