Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
