there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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