Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
