billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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