Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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