You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
