do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
