My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
