we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
