Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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