My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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