absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
