If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
