have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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