Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
