Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
