Don't make out with my wife yet
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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