she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
