I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
