Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
