he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
