I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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