My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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