I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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