wat bout pragnant strippers??
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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