I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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