wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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