i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
tell me about the fingering
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