it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
