wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
