I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
