I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
