.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize