you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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