at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Vodka?
Forever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
