Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
