I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
