so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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