Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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