Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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