addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
