champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
