oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
