I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize