My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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