I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize