dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
