if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
