That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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