I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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