eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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