I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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