Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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