How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
