There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
