I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
