If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
