Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
