why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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