I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We got so high we made milksteak
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
